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McSweeney’s
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Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
The Believer Magazine

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Short Imagined Monologues

Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.

  • July 8, 2019
    I’m Your Boss’s 10-Year-Old and This Is How I’ll Terrorize You When My Dad Brings Me to Work
    by Amamah Sardar
  • July 1, 2019
    I’m an Electric Rental Scooter, and I Didn’t Ask for This Bullshit Either
    by Ezgi Üstündağ
  • June 25, 2019
    I Am the Quarter-Zip Merino Wool Sweater Here to Tell You, the Fleece Sweater Vest, to Step Off
    by Tom Russell
  • June 11, 2019
    I’m an Adorable Romper, and I’m About to Make Your Life a Living Hell
    by Kim Windyka
  • June 6, 2019
    Hi, I’m the Loud American Guy at Your Hostel
    by Tayler Bunge
  • May 9, 2019
    Hey, I’m Beto, Your Dorm Resident Advisor
    by Teddy Wayne
  • May 7, 2019
    Hi, It’s Me, the App You’ve Never Used That’s Still Billing You
    by José Avelino Gilles Corbett Lourenço
  • May 2, 2019
    As a Wealthy Republican TV Pundit, I Am a Champion of the People and an Enemy of the Elites
    by Brittany Van Horne
  • April 30, 2019
    I’m a Therapist’s Couch On a Movie Set and I Am Complicit In Reinforcing a False Narrative About Therapy
    by Patty Terhune
  • February 21, 2019
    Hi, I’m an Empath Now
    by Melanie LaForce
  • February 7, 2019
    I’m a Woman in a Nonfat Yogurt Commercial
    by Charulata Sinha
  • January 30, 2019
    I Am a Stryker-X Assault Backpack, and This Airport Lounge Is an Insult
    by Tom Ellison
⇦ … 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 … ⇨
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McSweeney’s is an independent nonprofit publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Illustoria and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. You can support us today by making a donation.

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