The Believer Magazine
Articles by
River Clegg
River Clegg is a comedy writer living in Brooklyn. He contributes to McSweeney’s, The New Yorker, The Onion, ClickHole, and others. Eel enthusiast.
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April 14, 2025This Applebee’s Goes Hard
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March 25, 2025Acknowledgements
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November 27, 2024Prepare for the Inevitable Political Arguments at Thanksgiving with the Turkey Poncho
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October 25, 2024Here’s the Pitch
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January 12, 2024Martin Luther King Jr. Would Have Wanted You to Buy This Timeshare
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October 5, 2023I Am Still Scrolling and Would Like Very Much to Stop Feeling Things
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May 11, 2023This Counterfeiting Ring Needs to Make Some Changes
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January 5, 2023Inevitable Questions from My Daughter, and How I Plan to Answer Them
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September 13, 2022A Donation in Your Name
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May 11, 2022Other Rights the Supreme Court Will Get Rid of Because They Aren’t Deeply Rooted in History and Tradition
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March 11, 2022I Am Eight Years Old and Would Like a Batman Movie Aimed at Me, Please
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October 22, 2021Halloween Costume Ideas for New Parents